Tea with Gagan: The Mystery of the Past

On a sunny Sunday, August 31st, Fountain House was honored to host Zen Buddhist monk Gagan for a spiritual talk, a group Kung-fu energy exercise, and meditation. Gagan’s central message was a profound one: “The past is as much of a mystery as the future.” He explained that our personal histories, much like the historical accounts written by the powerful, are often distorted and molded by our emotions, trauma, and limited perspectives.

To illustrate this, Gagan shared a powerful story about a man in therapy. The therapist asked him to describe his best and worst memories to understand his current state of happiness. The man’s happiest memory was of a feeling of freedom he had as a boy at an amusement park, where he rode rides and ate food that made him sick. His worst memory was of feeling trapped at the kitchen table, forced to do his homework while his father watched over him, never leaving the table until he was done.

Later, the man’s grandmother revealed that his father had been cheating on his mother during those bi-weekly trips to the amusement park, an act that ultimately broke up the family. This new information completely changed his perception. The feeling of freedom he once associated with the park was replaced by a feeling of abandonment and neglect.

When the therapist asked him to recall a time when he felt cared for, the man took a moment and then described the nightly homework ritual with his father. He now saw his father’s steady presence as an act of love and concern, making him feel safe and cared for. This new perspective flipped his understanding of his own past on its head, leaving him to wonder how many of our memories are not what we truly recall.

Gagan concluded that we have the power to lift what may feel like a curse cast upon us by our past. By quietly re-examining past events with our adult eyes and more capable minds, we can see pieces of a different story. The gist of the talk was that we can free ourselves from old traumas by observing our present-day reactions and asking if the event is as traumatic now that we are older, stronger, and more capable of seeing beyond our narrow perspective at that time.

If you would like to join us for events like this or our upcoming End of Summer Barter Party on Sunday, September 21st, please contact Daniel Frey at daniel.frey@fountainhouse.org or text 929-884-3564.