Small Moments Together
I am a retired Massage Therapist with an “empty nest” since 2023 when my only child went away to college. One day in March 2026, I was looking for a new opportunity. Perhaps by chance, or intention, I came across a volunteer position listed on Idealist from City Voices seeking companions for people recovering from serious mental illness. I thought I could do this because I already knew people who struggle with their mental health including my uncle (paternal) and a good friend.
My uncle had a mental illness as long as I knew him. We did not often see each other since he lived in Paris and I was in the United States. My cousins and my aunt were aggravated by his anger issues, his stubborn refusal to take his medication, and to participate in activities that would improve his daily functioning. One of my cousins would predictably call every year insisting that my dad had to get on a plane and go to Paris because his brother was in the hospital once again.
Even though I had witnessed my uncle’s dysfunctional anger more times than I wished, there are good memories too. For one year I lived in Paris. Every Friday night, I would have dinner with his family. Several times, we went to the Louvre museum. We would also go to a restaurant owned by friends of his and my dad’s where they always gave us free cake. In addition, when my son was four years old, I brought him to France for the first time. My uncle smiled when he saw my son. It was a significant moment as I realized that this was one of the very few times I ever saw my uncle smile.
My next connection to someone with mental illness turned out to be my friend. I hired him in 2007 to take care of my son who was then two and half. During the eighteen years he has worked for me, we became friends. Suddenly, in December of 2024, he disappeared for six weeks. When he finally reappeared, he said he was in the hospital due to a mental health crisis. Regardless of his many setbacks, he continues to persevere in order to resume a more productive life. Throughout all that he has experienced, he still has not lost his sense of humor. I can always come up with some stupid joke that makes us laugh together.
During my short time with City Voices, I have been to meditation groups, talked with several people in person and by phone, so have met more people who experience serious mental illness. There are a few things I discovered. First, people experience mental illness, but it does not define who they are. Second, people can have a similar diagnosis, but that does not necessarily mean that they have the same symptoms or that their experiences are exactly the same. Third, serious mental illness may always exist, but loneliness does not have to. Fourth, we are all fellow human beings who wish to be treated with respect and want to be valued for what we can contribute to this world. I am hoping to create a meaningful connection for someone else just as I did with my uncle and my friend. It could be a piece of cake, a smile, or a joke. No matter how difficult life can be for people struggling with serious mental illness, it is still possible to find joy in small moments together.
