Diane Keaton’s Death Signifies the End of My Childhood

News of actress Diane Keaton’s death had hit me slowly, but very hard. Ms. Keaton was one of my favorite actresses-and women, frankly. She was creative, adorable, charming and charismatic. I loved her in her Woody Allen movies, which I remember fondly from my childhood and I also enjoyed her performances in “Looking for Mr. Goodbar” and the “Godfather” movies.

I think it’s partly because of the Woody Allen movies that I am in pain. I idolized Mr. Allen when I was a kid: a homely, clownish nebbish who managed to write, direct and act in his own movies. I wanted to be just that. Just as importantly, Ms. Keaton was his lover and that meant something to a nebbish like myself . You didn’t have to be Robert Redford to win the heart of  a lovely woman like Keaton. If I could just be myself, a lonely writer, I could still be with a Diane Keaton.

The most devastating thing about Keaton’s death, however, is the fact that, according to some reports, she may have seen it coming. She was a very visible person in her neighborhood, her own neighbors report, but she suddenly stop appearing on their radar. As of now, her cause of death is still a mystery, but it hurts to think that she saw it coming and withdrew from society so that a big fuss wouldn’t be made over her fate.

As Woody Allen himself characteristically stated about Keaton’s death, “it reminds me of my own mortality. “

Well, as a cancer survivor, I am also now reminded of my own mortality. If a vivacious, seemingly invincible and ageless person like Diane Keaton can be handed a death sentence, so can I.

So, I am in mourning, even though I had no personal connection with this actress. Diane was a gem and I will miss her presence on this planet.