Celebrating Ten Years Out

As of 1st July, of this year I have been ten years without being hospitalized. In these ten years, a lot about me has changed. I never got fired from a job in these ten years. Before 1st July 2009 I got fired from jobs all the time.

Not to say that my life has been easy in the past ten years. In fact, it has been very hard.

Going to work every day is difficult. Dealing with customers is difficult. I volunteer in addition to my paying job and that is difficult. But the most difficult thing about my life is spending time with my family.

Most people would think that it would be easy for me to spend time with my family, especially my parents, considering that I lived with them up until the age of 30. But instead, I find that getting together with my family is very anxiety-provoking. I did not feel that way before 1st July 2009.

Before 1st July 2009 I had anxiety about working, anxiety about meeting new people, and anxiety talking to people other than my parents.

However, back then I just said whatever I wanted to my parents without thinking about their feelings or the consequences. I would lie to them for my own convenience. I regret doing all of those things because I love them.