Meet Your Neighbor: Tommy

The Lives and Journeys Among Us

I met Tommy at my local supermarket in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. He was friendly and funny. Little did I know that he has lived a very interesting life! Let’s dive in and get to know Tommy based on an interview I did with him on a bench on a beautiful winter’s day.

Tommy grew up in Park Slope, where he was raised by a nurse mother and a police officer father, alongside his three sisters. His family dynamic changed significantly when his older sister struggled with drug addiction and was expelled from their home at 15. As Tommy dealt with feelings of jealousy and frustration over his sisters’ frequent visits for Sunday dinner with their children, he took it upon himself to confront his older sister’s cocaine use, gathering evidence and reporting it to his parents. This revelation strained his relationship with his mother, who refused to believe Tommy’s accusations and dismissed his concerns, leading to a lack of trust between them. Consequently, Tommy’s detective instincts in trying to help his sister ultimately alienated him from his mother, complicating their family bond. Little did he know, this was the start of a lifelong journey in public service.

Tommy’s career began as a paramedic with the FDNY, where he saved lives, delivered babies, and responded to emergencies. “When you solve a case, it gives you a lot of stress,” he said, “but when you get to see those lives saved, it’s a powerful feeling.” That passion for helping others led him to the NYPD, where he became a detective. He loved the thrill of making arrests and protecting his community, but he also faced the harsh realities of the job. “You can only make so many arrests in one day,” he admitted, reflecting on the frustrations of a system that often felt broken.

Over the years, Tommy’s perspective on policing evolved, especially when it came to women in law enforcement. At first, he was skeptical, but he soon realized how vital they were. “Women just bring another sense of safety to the job,” he said, acknowledging their unique strengths in a field traditionally dominated by men.

Tommy’s father was instrumental in catching the “Son of Sam” killer, a man diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, which got him a big promotion in the department. Tommy expresses a certain sympathy for those with serious mental illnesses, like schizophrenia, acknowledging that when individuals refuse to seek help, it often leads to dire consequences for themselves and others. He reflects on the struggle of the mind as one’s worst enemy, illustrating how distorted perceptions can lead to tragic outcomes, such as acts of violence. Ultimately, while he acknowledges the complexities of mental illness, he believes that a lack of outreach for help is a crucial factor that can exacerbate situations and contribute to harmful behavior.

He also spoke about the need for accountability in the justice system. “If you don’t punish people for what they’re doing, they’re just going to keep on doing it,” he said, calling for reforms to deter crime and protect victims.

Tommy advocates for a justice system that imposes significant consequences on repeat offenders, emphasizing that without strict penalties, individuals will continue to commit crimes, knowing they can easily evade serious repercussions. He believes that a firm approach to punishment, especially for habitual offenders, is necessary to deter crime and maintain social order. Tommy expresses frustration with the current system that allows known criminals to remain on the streets, suggesting a need for more jails and stricter enforcement of laws to ensure that violators are held accountable.

Regarding his views on humanity, Tommy expresses a mix of disappointment and hope. He acknowledges the increasing propensity for violence in society, noting how conflicts escalate quickly and how people resort to harmful actions instead of seeking peaceful resolutions. Despite his encounters with the darker aspects of human behavior, Tommy still holds onto the belief that every individual deserves a chance. He observes that compassion and understanding can play crucial roles in addressing societal issues, implying that deeper systems of support—such as mental health resources—could help mitigate some of the problems he perceives. Overall, while he recognizes the challenges, Tommy emphasizes the importance of accountability and second chances in forging a better future for humanity.

Today, Tommy is retired but still passionate about making a difference. His story is a reminder of the complexities of public service and the human side of those who dedicate their lives to keeping us safe. From his early days as a curious kid in Park Slope to his years as a detective on the streets of New York, Tommy’s journey is one of resilience, growth, and a deep commitment to his community.

So, the next time you see Tommy at the supermarket, say hello. You might just meet a neighbor with a story worth hearing.