Meet Your Neighbor: Evelyn Graham-Nyaasi

The Lives and Journeys Among Us

“Meet Your Neighbor” is a column I am developing in collaboration with Fountain House and City Voices to celebrate the joy of meeting new people, listening to their stories, and sharing them with others. The goal is to inspire you to connect with the incredible individuals around you, to hear their experiences, and to share your own. Everyone carries a unique story, and there is magic in each person. Instead of judging a book by its cover, open it with curiosity and kindness, and discover the richness within.

In our insightful and candid interview, Evelyn Graham-Nyaasi shares her journey through a tumultuous childhood, challenging adulthood, and her ultimate path to healing and advocacy.

Growing up as the eldest of four daughters in a family where her mother was a teen parent, her childhood was particularly difficult. At just six years old, Evelyn faced the trauma of molestation, which marked a significant turning point in her life. Although she found solace in spending time with her cousins and aunts, the weight of familial responsibility loomed large over her youthful years. She excelled academically, graduating from PS 207 with many awards, yet her challenges did not dissipate as she transitioned into adulthood.

Evelyn’s working life began at age 14 with after-school programs and summer camps. After graduating from Washington Irving High School, she attended Hunter College while working in a doctor’s office. Everything changed dramatically when a car accident at the age of 24 led to the birth of her daughter, Brittany. While this moment was a highlight, it was marred by ongoing struggles in her marriage, which had deteriorated significantly following the accident.

Seeking a fresh start, Evelyn moved to Delaware with her daughter Brittany and her son’s father. Her son, Dominic, wasn’t born until November 16, 1990. In Delaware, she embraced a new job as a WIC Clerk, providing nutritious food and support to families in need. Unfortunately, obstacles emerged when her son’s father was imprisoned, leaving her to care for two children largely on her own, adding to her struggles with mental health.

While in Delaware, a troubling incident at a beauty supply store culminated in her being diagnosed with bipolar depression after a police intervention, marking a turning point in her mental health journey.

Evelyn emphasizes the importance of clarifying a critical moment during this time: the police knife incident, which led to her last hospitalization, happened in NYC before she went to Howie the Harp, a peer specialist training center. Someone in her home falsely accused her of having a knife, which led to her being taken to Bellevue Hospital. This incident, she explains, is something that happens to people all too often, and it’s a reality that continues to anger her, especially as such occurrences have become more frequent in recent years.

During this time, Evelyn also experienced the hardships of living in an emotionally abusive relationship. The turmoil she faced was compounded by repeated evictions from her residence, which led her to briefly live in a shelter. When her mental health issues peaked, she returned to New York City after her mother suffered a heart attack. Evelyn came back to care for her mother and her children, who had been in NYC while she was hospitalized in Delaware.

In New York, she reignited her career, working at the American Society of Composers, Authors, and Publishers (ASCAP) as a Cuesheet Analyst, where she remained for seven years, before transitioning into bookkeeping and, eventually, case management for individuals facing mental health challenges.

Her work as a case manager was particularly poignant given her own experiences with mental illness, which she largely kept hidden from her colleagues. Despite these challenges, she raised her children in Harlem for over a decade before moving to Chelsea as a single mother, following her daughter’s departure for military service. Yet, her personal life was turbulent as she found herself trapped in another emotionally abusive relationship.

The police would often dismiss her claims of harassment by attributing her challenges to her mental illness, frustrating Evelyn and compounding her sense of isolation. This period was marked by numerous mental health episodes, and it wasn’t until another serious incident forced her back into psychiatric care that she found the motivation to change her life. While in treatment, she recognized that many young individuals faced similar struggles without the awareness of their rights as patients, sparking a desire to advocate for improved mental health understanding and services.

Evelyn also reflects on the pain of being ridiculed and ostracized by family and friends because of her mental illness. She shares how they distanced themselves from her, only reconnecting after she returned to college and graduated with honors. This experience deepened her understanding of the stigma surrounding mental health and strengthened her resolve to advocate for others.

In response to her experiences, Evelyn actively sought to create positive change. She remembered a peer certification course she’d taken in 2007 and, upon leaving the hospital, expressed her desire to help others facing mental illness. Under the guidance of Carla Rabinowitz, a fierce mental health advocate, she began to find her voice, sharing her story publicly for the first time.

Evelyn’s advocacy expanded through her work with various organizations, including speaking engagements aimed at raising awareness about mental health, homelessness prevention, and recognizing the early signs of emotional abuse in relationships. Her experiences provided her with unique insights, equipping her to support young individuals navigating their mental health journeys.

Reflecting on her life today, Evelyn finds joy despite past hardships. Following the deaths of her mother in 2011 and her husband in 2013, she has focused on self-love and acceptance, cherishing her independence and the lessons learned from her difficult experiences. She actively engages in activities she enjoys, from attending movies and theatre to traveling and exploring new experiences. Evelyn embraces her solitude, understanding the importance of being comfortable alone, which she attributes to personal growth and inner peace.

Spirituality plays a significant role in Evelyn’s life. She emphasizes the importance of maintaining faith in God despite the difficulties she has faced within church communities. She acknowledges that although many have wronged her, she chooses forgiveness as a way to nurture her spirit. Forgiveness, she believes, is essential not only for her peace of mind but also as a path to healing.

Evelyn’s message is one of resilience: that trauma can be transformed into something meaningful, and recovery is attainable. Through her advocacy efforts and personal journey, she inspires others to embrace their struggles, seek growth, and understand the potential for a brighter future, regardless of the obstacles they face. Her story is one of hope, strength, and the belief that, as she puts it, “If you fall down, just get back up and start again.”